How Are You Happy?
by Beckett Simpleton
Summary: A long drabble-run on one shot. Maybe Artemis didn't start talking when he was tiny and could count when he was one. Maybe he was content at being genius in his own head? I dunno, I was just messing around with the thoughts of a child.


**How Are You Happy?**

Recently, I've had a short absence. I've just given myself a little break. I'm tired of worrying about my stories. I think I've just grown up. They're not the centre of my world anymore (and no, I haven't just gotten a boyfriend). Anyway, I'm not saying I'm not writing them and that I don't care (Jesus no, do you know how long I've spent on Alexander the Great?) just that, well, I'm allowing myself to be lazy. I don't even know you people, (but you're lovely) I'm moving up to the high school soon, I need to worry about my school work, my art and *gasp* maybe boys if I have time, but I'm not the kind of person to do dating, really.

So anyway, in place of reading the same books over and over, I've been watching some anime (Neon Genesis Evangelion and Death Note) and allowing myself to become a little obsessed (I love L. I would marry him if he weren't *cough dead cough*) and I'm thinking about buying the Death Note manga series if it's not too expensive.

(But I still love Arty and Beckett)

So just so you know I haven't disappeared, because really, I would usually update more in the holidays but I've been playing outside with my friends and I'm going to London with my Dad soon, I just thought I'd say sorry for lacking.

Oh, and maybe now that I'm more familiar (obsessed) with Neon Genesis Evangelion (check it out) I dunno, maybe an Artemis Fowl/Shinji Ikari (and I don't mean / as in pairing I mean a cross between the two character's series) crossover might be born… I'm thinking after Heal… I have a plot in mind…

Anyway, on with this damn thing!

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Is he stupid? Is he stupid?

I wonder what these words mean?

Are these people talking to me?

Or about me?

Can I just sit here and mind my own business? Is that okay?

Are you happy? Are you happy?

I don't know what you mean. If, as I've managed to deduct, that 'are you' is a question, and you are directing something at me in which you expect an answer, and that 'happy' is to feel content in myself in being ignorant and sitting in this corner in my room with my thumb in my mouth watching this red train go round and round and round and round, then yes, I am 'happy.'

But if you are actually using me as a way to channel your 'happiness,' in other words, if me being obviously happy makes you 'happy,' then no. I am not 'happy.' Because you are obviously sad. If my expression of 'happiness' gives you an expression of 'happiness,' then because I have never seen your expression of 'happiness,' I therefore do not know how to present myself and arrange my face if true 'happiness' does confront me, and hence forth, you will not see my expression of 'happiness,' I will not see yours… You see how this is a continuous cycle?

So in conclusion, you be the leader.

What makes you happy?

After all, I learn from you.

So show my when you are 'happy.'

When are you happy? I think I should observe. If I know that a shout and a frown is anger, then you must be angry at me right now, because you are shouting and frowning. What do you want me to do?

Now you are crying? Do I frustrate you?

Aaagh! Am I thinking to deeply here?

Don't lose your train of thought, if you do, we'll just be back to the happiness dilemma again!

Who are you? Who are you?

'Are.' 'Who are?' 'Are you?' so this is definitely a word I can use for a question?

Who are you?

You call yourself 'Mummy' in front of me. I like that word. It sounds rather… soft.

But other people address you as 'Angeline.'

I prefer 'Mummy.' 'Angeline' is too long.

So if I do what you are doing now, I.e. make myself heard by vocalising more that a simple cry or whimper, I will address you as Mummy?

"Mummy?"

And now you smile.

Why do you smile?

And from this I conclude that your expression that you show when angry is unpleasant compared to this expression in which you smile and your eyes crinkle and your voice raises into a higher pitch.

So by process of elimination, is this happiness?

And if _my _happiness provides _your _happiness, then _your _happiness should provide _my _happiness, and hence forth, I shall do the same as you.

I smile.

And you smile wider.

What an odd reaction.

For five years, I have never possibly come to the conclusion that simply speaking could make you happy, as displaying the same expression as you would raise your level of happiness.

So making you happy makes me happy!

Wow.

Suddenly, this train does not amuse me.

So, there is a difference between contentment and happiness?

Right!

So happiness is to actually forwardly express contentment to such level that it shows on your face and influences that way you talk and move, but contentment is to simply feel neither angry nor sad?

And I show these things on my face.

Okay. Now I understand.

And now, making people happy makes me happy and making people mad makes me… sad? And making people sad makes me… sad too.

What makes me mad?

Oh stuff that.

You smile, I smile! Great!

And even Daddy _seems_ happy now that I've spoken a word!

He says to me;

'It's about time.'

And;

'I thought you were hopeless.'

And;

'You are five years old, Artemis. You should speak like me and Mummy now.'

Who is Artemis?

Artemis is two people. Artemis is me and Daddy.

But this is an easy problem to solve, because Daddy would not talk to himself.

And back to the original question, Daddy.

No, I'm not stupid, if by stupid you mean unable to think and express myself at or above the expected level for my age, I simply have better things to think about, so…

You should try smiling, Daddy.

Because happiness is quite a pleasant thing.

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Don't even ask me where that came from, I've no idea, but I'm sorry to say that I have decided.

I've lost interest in Hael and I'm going to get rid of it. I want space to try something new, and I. Am. Not. Giving up Alexander.

Sorry for letting you down.

Watch out for shinigami and Shinji Ikari getting mixed up with Arty soon!

Bye!

Beckett Simpleton


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